5 Reasons Why Straight Guys Should Go To Gay Bars

abbey

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Sunday afternoon, I get a text from my buddy Ken Whittier, who’s visting from San Francisco:

“meet us @ abbey for drnks.”

I ask my roommate what the Abbey is. He goes, “What, the gay bar?”

It turns out Ken’s meeting some girls there. But at the moment, I’m nonplussed. I’ve never been to a gay bar — namely, because I’m not gay, and just assumed there’s no reason to go to one unless, well — unless you like dudes.

It turns out I’m not into dudes. So the Abbey seems like an odd place to spend a Sunday afternoon. But after a quick chat with Ken, I decide I might as well meet him and his girls for a drink or two.

Lo and behold, I surprised myself by having a great time. And at the end of the day, my conclusion is that more straight guys should go to gay bars.

Here’s why:

1. There are hot girls there
This is hands down the best kept secret about gay bars. It never even occured to me straight girls would go to them. And not only do they go, they go in PACKS. If this fact were featured more prominently in the straight guy handbook, I would have visited The Toolbox a long time ago… ok, maybe not The Toolbox, and probably not The Mine Shaft, but you get the idea.

If a guy wearing angel wings in a bar doesn't bother you (hint: it shouldn't), then the cute girl in the slinky white dress to his left would love to meet you

If a guy wearing angel wings in a bar doesn't bother you (hint: it shouldn't), then the cute girl in the slinky white dress to his left would love to meet you

2. Your competition is gay
Is there a cute girl standing next to you? Yes. Do any of the 12 guys surrounding her care? No. Unlike the ravenous, bloodthirsty predators in Affliction shirts you have to jock with at any standard club, you’ll find you have no competition in a gay bar. Start thinking about gay bars like straight bars full of girls, only there are a bunch you don’t want to go home with. It’s kind of like that.

3. Girls’ defense mechanisms are temporarily deactivated
As a girl walks into a typical club, she mentally prepares to be hit on by everything with a penis. Much like the Starship Enterprise, she readies herself for attack: shields up, phasers set to stun. Hence, girls who are ordinarily easy to talk to may suddenly become unapproachable brats. But in a gay bar, girls have no expectation of harassment — they are relaxed, approachable, and generally happy to meet you. Go to Les Deux on a Friday and see if you can say the same.

Pro Tip: Forget the rules. In a gay bar, approaching a girl sitting at another guy's table is absolutely permissible. In fact, the guys may actually HELP YOU meet their girlfriend

Pro Tip: Forget the rules. In a gay bar, approaching a girl at another guy's table is absolutely permissible. In fact, the guys may actually HELP YOU meet their girlfriend

4. Gay dudes know you’re not gay
I have a few friends whose chief objection to a gay bar would be: “I don’t want gay dudes hitting on me.” This is dumb. And after being in a gay bar 20 minutes, you’ll find out why. Apparently, it takes the average gay guy exactly 4.3 seconds to determine you’re not a target. Maybe your shorts aren’t short enough, maybe your hair isn’t moussed enough — whatever it is, they know semi-instantly. And they’re cool with that. But honestly, if a gay guy should happen to throw some game at you, it’s not going to kill you, super-hetero dude. So be flattered… and thank him for the raspberry mojito.

5. Gay guys are outstanding wingmen
Once a gay guy realizes you’re not gay (4.3 seconds after meeting you), he and his friends can become your greatest allies. Some may even play matchmaker, grabbing nearby cute girls, introducing them, talking you up — pretty much everything but arranging a dowry. And in some countries, they’ll probably do that too.

21 Responses

  1. Hey. Your post is definitely uplifting for us gay guys. I wish straight guys would think a lot like you do.

    Cheers for this post!

  2. this was the greatest part of my day. i laughed hysterically, especially at the part about the “Affliction Guys”

  3. wow..nice one….but i wonder why the hell girls will come to the gay bar???….are they lesbo???? :P

  4. […] Posted on May 27, 2009 by Paz My roommate Colin casually informed me yesterday that straight guys going to gay bars for the girls is not exactly an earth-shattering […]

  5. haha. girls who go to gay bars love men. therefore, we are NOT lesbo. otherwise we’d be hanging out with other girls at lesbian bars. in my opinion, YUCK.

    gay bars are full of the hottest men who are respectful and fun, and can be *somewhat* flirtatious with us.. but in just the right ways ;-)

    smart straight men do go to gay bars on occasion. I met my boyfriend at a gay bar in the castro in sf. I would never date a man who wasn’t cool with me hanging out at gay bars with all of my gay boys. that is what I do.

    amusing article, thanks!!! :-)

  6. HAHAHAH fucking affliction shirts!

  7. […] 5 Reasons Straight Guys Should Go To Gay Bars […]

  8. I will give this try

  9. my secrets getting out….in brighton beach england about 40-50% of the male population is gay…when people ask me “are you gay?” when i say no then they ask why i like it there…well 1/2 the guys are gay so half the women are going without…hell it was an exhilerating ride being able to sit back and let the girls hit on you (and give them some of there pretentious medicine back)…..

  10. You are killing me. This is classic.

    Upon telling a friend that another friend is going with me to a lesbian bar that friend said : Oh, is she curious.

    My response: No one ever says about a gay person at a straight bar, Oh is he curious?

    fma

  11. Great post! In the past I would go to gay bars just to meet up with interesting people… now… I have my hubby.. who just so happens to be bi… just like me. If you surround yourself with open minded people… you will find open minded people. So if you (as a straight male) are looking for an open minded girl that won’t judge you… you should go to the gay bars to find a girl

  12. […] transforming yourself.  There is a reason queer eye for the straight guy works…check out this blog for more […]

  13. OMG…I just did a similar write up last night!

    Great points. I am glad to see another guy who is sharing this secret.

    Gay dudes are nothing to be scared of…in fact, they ARE awesome wing men! A point I never thought of in my post.

  14. I’m a hetero girl who goes to gay bars because I don’t want to get hit on constantly. Believe it or not, sometimes people go to bars just because they want to hang out with their friends, drink, and listen to music. Not everybody is on the lookout to get laid. If your intent in going to a gay bar to meet girls is because you want anything other than a platonic conversation, then maybe you should just stick to the meat markets and leave us to our safe spaces and gay friends.

  15. This is a great post! I have never been to a gay bar, but all the things on this list sound very realistic. You have convinced me to try something new.

  16. this is true…but someplaces are a little over the top. there bar that sells the most amount of booze in Philly, called Woodies. Now woodies bouncers are in chaps and leather carding people out front and topless guys are the norm. That’s a little to much for most straight guys…unless your shitfaced. Toolbox is LOL..

  17. I tired this several years ago, believing all of your points, and I found it does not work. 1) The girls are thinking “how straight can this guy be if he is at a gay bar? He is bi at the least, and that’s gay.” 2) girls go to gay bars to get away from straight guys for a bit, they go there so they will not get hit on.

  18. I have been to gay bars and had a blast every time. My little bro is gay and he gided me to the straight guys. He is right every time and yes girls do go there to get away from the norm but not from straight guys. It’s just a placce were we can relax and it doesnt matter if I wear a dress that shows my crotch or sweats I’m welcomed. If your looking for a girl/guy thats real and you can feel comfortable arround them a gay bar is my first choice. TIP to guys (have a gay friend with you)

  19. went to one last week with my hot wife and some gay friends. she was completely at ease, almost as if we were alone. we drank a bit too much and she ended up topless with 5 guys and me. they dared her to fuck me in front of them. she dropped her pants and climbed on me. we didnt finish, but it was super sexy. we wont go all the time, but we will be back.

  20. […] roommate Colin casually informed me yesterday that straight guys going to gay bars for the girls is not exactly an earth-shattering […]

  21. I love this blog. I found it in Google. I will come here more often. Webmaster: let me know if you’d like to exchange links!

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