I Got Drunk And Acted Like An Idiot In Front of Seth Rogen. Now I Am In A Movie.

The scene of the crime

The scene of the crime

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“Here’s my ticket, how much?”

I’m outside the Standard in Hollywood, eager to vacate. I left a crappy party 20 minutes ago, and all I want is my car back.

I hand my ticket to a valet and look down to check my Blackberry.

“Uhhh, I don’t actually work here.”

I feel kind of silly. “Sorry man, my mistake.”

I walk away laughing a little. In all fairness, the guy WAS wearing a red satin vest and matching bowtie. Tip: If you don’t want to be mistaken for the valet, don’t dress like you’re playing one in a silent film.

I’m in the middle of my private chucklefest when I bump smack into another red-vested dude. Hmm… he’s wearing the same outfit as the other guy…

“Excuse me, can you get my car, or—

“Nah man – do I look like I work here?”

Am I retarded? I glance around and notice folks in red uniforms practically swarming the lobby.

It occurs to me I might be on a hidden camera show, until I realize Ashton Kutcher could care less about me than high school algebra.

The Standard's pool is so pretty at night you'd never guess Flava Flav pees in it regularly

The Standard's pool is so pretty at night you'd never guess Flava Flav pees in it regularly

I stroll toward three nuclear blondes commiserating by the empty valet booth. They seem overly done up – even by Hollywood standards. But we are at the Standard… in Hollywood… so…

“Hi, do any of you know where the valet is?

These girls look at me with a stare so vacant I could rent a room. Wow.

I spot a Seth Rogen look-a-like posted up by the door. He’s wearing a white leisure suit and looks 100 times more amiable than these blowup dolls. I float past the sea of vapidity and approach him instead.

“Hate to ask,” I start, “but do you work here by any chance?”

He laughs. “Um, not exactly.”

Dammit. I’m ready to pack it in and walk home. But suddenly, there’s a little bald man with a headset darting through the double doors behind me. PA’s with walkie talkies scatter like roaches in the foyer.

“Could everyone please clear out of the shot? Thank you! Thank you!”

Reality smacks me in the face with an eighty pound boom mic.

Actually, a boom mic really almost hit me. I am on a fucking movie set.

Those guys in vests? Actors.

Those overdressed, high attitude blondes? Actresses.

That Seth Rogen look-a-like in the leisure suit?

Fuck.

Hey, you're a pretty decent lookalike. You'd clean up at weddings.

Hey, you're a pretty decent lookalike. You'd clean up at weddings.

Seth has been observing my slowly developing epiphany, chuckling. I don’t blame him. I must look like a total dumbass.

“ROLL SOUND….AND… ACTION!!”

You’ve got to be kidding. That happened way too fast – I didn’t even have a chance to move.

Somehow, the little bald guy completely missed me. And I am now in a movie.

I quickly look down at my Blackberry and frantically begin checking non-existent e-mails. I am invisible. I am invisible.

A wide-lens Panavision camera swings down 10 feet in front of my head and a movie scene unfolds. I’m watching it all like its on TV…

Seth Rogen walks purposefully past me and the blondes chatter with exaggerated gestures as a stretch Hummer pulls up in the courtyard. A valet opens the door…

“…AND CUT!!”

The scene is over. Seth ambles back to his mark. I am frozen in time.

“Dude,” he says to me on his way back. “If they don’t catch you in post, you should totally sue.”

I am Jack’s speechless larynx.

I cock my head back as if to say, “Yes. I am a moron.”

If you see Green Hornet next summer and happen to notice an out-of-place jackass in a blue blazer with a valet ticket, let me know.

And put it on IMDB for me.

Apparently they had just finished filming this scene where he throws a fridge through a window. Then they filmed the scene of Seth showing up at the hotel, out of order. Either way, I'm an idiot. The end.

Apparently they had just finished filming this scene where Seth throws a fridge through a window. Then he walks in front of a clueless dude with a cell phone waiting for his car in the lobby. The End.

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Update: Commenters’ suggestions this post is a publicity stunt for a movie are highly comical to me. If only this were true and I were lining my pockets with Green Hornet loot. In fact, if you are a publicist for this movie, please send me a check.

Update 2: As a side note, I should plead guilty to hyperbole and clarify that I wasn’t fall down wasted when I went to get my car from the valet, as the headline implies. But “I had a drink or two at a cocktail party and stupidly wandered onto a film shoot with Seth Rogen in a hotel driveway whilst looking for the valet and proceeded to go unnoticed because my outfit blended in with the background actors” didn’t have quite the same ring.

88 Responses

  1. ha ha omg what a great story! i cant wait to see if you made the cut.

  2. o my. That was classic! hope you really made the post!! hahaha thanks for the laugh :)

  3. Great story man!

  4. Awesome story…that’s epic! We just featured Seth Rogan on our site as an”Crush of the Week!” Kinda jealous you got to meet him…
    XOXO BK Crew

  5. WOW Man. Good story and all, but you’re a dumbass. You totally just blew any chance of not being noticed. Couldn’t you have fucking waited until release?

  6. I’m gonna guess two things, 1) this is a publicity stunt 2) since you posted it on a website and I stumbled upon this on reddit, you will either be cut or contacted. I’m guessing 1) because, uh, where’d you get the stills?

  7. haha! wow man this is crazy shit. a night you won’t forget

  8. Most extras for brief parts do not get IMDB listing unless they have a speaking part or are listed in the end credits.

  9. […] I Got Drunk And Acted Like An Idiot In Front of Seth Rogen. Now I Am In A Movie. « Who Is Paz […]

  10. I assumed he meant in the trivia section but that’s just my opnion.

  11. fantasticular!

  12. LOL, Frank got fucked.

  13. I loled! thank you and GL.

  14. You are wrong about Ashton Kutcher, he was majoring in biochemical engineering at the University of Iowa before dropping out to pursue modeling. He knows his algebra. Check his biography if don’t believe me
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005110/bio

    • I stand corrected. That was probably an unfair line, but it sounded cool. I will not question the intelligence of Ashton Kutcher in future storytelling.

  15. Isn’t this the plot to, “The Hangover 2”??

  16. If you’re not in the movie I’m totally boycotting Green Hornet, this is a promise.

  17. AMAZING…

    Yes, you are a jackass. But it paid off!

  18. Very cool. Well done!

  19. Now that is a story I enjoyed :)

  20. “viral marketing” scheme for the movie dip$hits.

  21. Awesome story made me laugh..

  22. I did the same thing with “Christmas in Wonderland”. That crappy Chris Kattan movie.

    They were shooting a scene in West Edmonton Mall in the Ice Capades. Me and a friend kept walking through the shots with the rest of the extras.

    If you see a couple guys in shorts and t-shirts among people in parkas and winter clothing, that’s us.

  23. I’ll be scouring the credits for “Guy in Blue Blazer with Valet Ticket – The guy who wandered on set”

  24. that’s so crazy!!!

  25. thanks for embellishing the story!! it make it much more better!

  26. Great story!! Something similar happened to me at an Eric Clapton concert. I was wearing my typical T-shirt / blue jean outfit, but I happened to pick the brown T-shirt that day.

    Being a “sound guy” I wanted to go down to the main floor to look at the gear. As I walked on to the lower area, the bouncers were checking tickets to make sure you were allowed in that area. They stopped the people right in front of me. I didn’t even make eye contact, but kept walking. – And they let me go on in!

    As I was walking around, I noticed all of the concert techs were wearing the same T-shirt as I was! So that’s why they let me in. The thought I was a concert tech!

    So, my question is, how to you find out what the concert techs wear at the shows?

  27. Fix the typo before anyone notices! You wrote “could care less” instead of “could NOT care less.”

  28. the Standard on sunset is lame!! it was alright when it opened.
    oh yeah. by the way. that scene will be cut. they always shoot the extra scenes and whittle them down for story economy

  29. Classic.

  30. […] I Got Drunk And Acted Like An Idiot In Front of Seth Rogen. Now I Am In A Movie. Seth Rogen ist der Hammer. Seht ihr liebe Männer, Humor kann das 08/15 "gut aussehen" durchaus ersetzen. Share: […]

  31. I heard that Elmo is also in the movie too and plays a disgruntled yet calm father figure which needs to pay his dues to society.

  32. *IF* this is true, and I’m dubious, Seth’s remark about suing is in reference to the fact that if you are in a film or TV show and your face is recognizable, you must be payed at least actor’s scale pay for your time on screen.

    • It will only be $64… definitely not worth the lawsuit. Extras, non-SAG get a minimum of $64 a day under 8 hours.

      • actually according to IMBA regulations, any extra working on an outdoor set subject to unexpected climatic or socio-economic changes within a reasonable timeframe can claim up to 79% of his or her annual estimated earnings compared to an on set actor with greater or equal sustainable equity. gobshites.

  33. awesome. simply awesome.

  34. That’s funny.

  35. oh, yes

  36. Woah. Paz. Of Paz & Kuder. And, more importantly, of Zahm. Took a bit of Googling to follow my hunch, but still really weird that I came across this on casual Digg browsing, especially considering I only vaguely met you one time. Zahm ’08 here. Go Irish! seuh

  37. so you were in a single take? good luck…

  38. That’s fricking hilarious! Awesome story.

  39. Great story. Thanks for sharing.

  40. […] Acted Like An Idiot In Front of Seth Rogen. Now I Am In A Movie. « Who Is Paz By mcxperi via […]

  41. if u arent in the film u will be in the outakes

  42. […] the full transcript of this ultra-fun experience here. Thanks, Paz, for a great story! I’ll be looking for you in the movie, and will live vicariously […]

  43. […] the full transcript of this ultra-fun experience here. Thanks, Paz, for a great story! I’ll be looking for you in the movie, and will live vicariously […]

  44. skeet, thats sick man. in all seriousness you probably made that scene ballin. good luck on being in it/ getting buttloads of money for sueing =] when you win, buy me a steak?

  45. Your chances of making it through post will probably drop significantly, considering how many people will see this story. But it was probably worth it.

    Maybe you could sue them anyway for emotional distress?

  46. Wish I could have been there!

    – San Diego Garage Door Repair Services.

  47. aawww!…….that is so sick!

  48. This story is totally photoshopped. Just look at the damn pixels, man.

    • you dont konw waht yuor takling abuot. its obvoiusly a rael story. how can you even photohsop a wrtien artcile anwyay? gobshite

  49. Sooo…. It was really Seth Rogen? Haha.

  50. Lol, that actually sounds pretty cool man. I would have loved to have done something like that!

  51. Funny story, but you wrote it like a Tucker Max wannabe.

  52. That’s fantastical

  53. So you were intending to drink/drive? Smooothie

  54. Man that movie has stuff going on with! There was a car chase scene and the Green Hornet car actually hit a parked police car. Police car, prop—crash, real.

    • i think you should corect your typo. it should actaully read “Police car; prop. – crash; real.” and not “Police car, prop—crash, real.” puntcuation is important not just for gramatical reasons but also for reasons of clarification and understanding. Gobshite

  55. That is epic! I love Seth Rogen! You lucky SOB!

  56. hahaha AWESOME story man. If it is a publicity stunt it’s the best publicity stunt I’ve heard of and you should DEFINATELY be getting paid. will watch out for you when i watch it

  57. I’d totally want to see the movie even more now because of this

  58. Seth Rogen is about a douche now. Ggrrr reference to movie, poo poo joke, grrr. Hairy.

  59. Nice job dude. You should have gotten his number. Thanks for a good story!

    lamont

  60. cool story except for the part where you pretend you’re part of fight club, come on man time to move past acting like a high school kid

  61. Same thing happened to me with the set of star trek. Nemoy, called me a douche because i thought his ship was a taxi.

  62. Dude, I sincerely hope this is a true story. Even if it isn’t, I choose to believe it. It’s damn funny. Fair play.

  63. Ha! That’s brilliant.

  64. OMG! That’s freakin hilarious.

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    I am sure you spend a lot of time posting content, but you can save it for
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